Living Moment
You Can Call Me Elena
Being called by the name you choose is not a small thing when so much of survival has depended on being unseen. This entry shows what it means when the people who enter a life—literally, through the door—also help carry a name into being. A name that holds every version of you.
More from this moment
Full Reflection / Story
A couple of days ago, on August 10, I chose a name for myself: Elena Claire Foster.
Not legally yet, but in my life and my public presence.
On August 11, I published a piece titled Your Name, which speaks about my journey with my name and includes a small reveal of the one I chose: Elena!
A few of the people closest to me have already started calling me Elena. One of them asked, “I wanna call you Ellie. Is that okay?”
I was overjoyed because I absolutely loved having a nickname!
A lot of people come through my home—some to walk Toffee, some to care for me, and some simply to hang out. The kids in my neighborhood especially love coming by to color or play. Because of that, I needed a way to communicate certain things right at the front door when people walked in.
So, months ago, I created this little set that hangs near the door. When I am going out, I simply turn it the other way.
Today, I updated it to use Elena, and it made me smile.
I still love the name Harshini. It is still me, of course. This change does not signify a different person or a different identity. It signifies my relationship with myself.
Looking at this today made me realize just how much has changed in the way I relate to myself compared with years ago—even decades ago.
I feel more with myself now.
I feel safe now.
I feel more at peace now.
And, most of all, I feel love toward all the mes that ever were.
It is not a magical feeling, of course. It does not change the past or write the future.
It simply allows me to exist as fully myself.
After a life filled with dismissals and erasures—including ones that originated within myself—I am grateful that I am here.
Can you believe it?!
(I say that as though I could hear you from across the screen! I am just truly grateful and excited!)
Not everything is solved. Not every crisis is resolved. Not every aspect of my life is beautifully stable.
Not yet.
I am just here.
And that is what your support made possible today: me being here, in the middle of it all, smiling as I say,
“Hi, I’m Elena Foster. You can call me Elena!”
Thank you for being here. If you would like to be part of what helps moments like this happen, visit Be My Village.